Welcome
Pro Status
No Expiration
Help Decide
Archive Calendar
Blogroll
No Expiration
Written on March 17th, 2010
Yeah? Can I borrow it??
I am trying a new recipe and realized, too late, that I don’t have half of the supplies necessary to make the “easy and delicious Braciole.”
No, I don’t know what the hell it is, either, but it looks good.
Good Housekeeping claims the prep time is fifteen minutes, with a total cooking time of 40. I guess it’s just assumed that EVERYONE has a meat mallet, butcher twine, and Pecorino cheese in their pantry.
Pecorino cheese? Are they kidding me? Where do they think we live…Owensboro? Shit, we’re lucky to find Kraft Singles or shredded mozzarella. In fact, we have to buy a Chef-Boy-Ardee pizza kit just to get the miniature can of parmesan cheese.*
So I have spent the last hour at the butcher shop, haggling with them over whether or not they would beat the flank steak I bought down to a quarter inch thickness, as per the easy-to-follow instructions. No, they would not. They would tenderize it, which means run it through a machine and pretty much grind it up, but they would not use a mallet.
Nor would they let me borrow theirs.
Fuckers.
They did give me some butcher twine, so that’s cool.
I have all of my ingredients except fresh parsley and Pecorino cheese. I will try Kroger for the parsley, and hope to see my favorite bagger. I settled on some imported Parmesan and Romano cheese. I even have fresh garlic, and will finally get to use the garlic press my Mama Liz gave us for a wedding gift.
Now, the meat mallet dilemma: Bardstown has two grocery stores, and since I couldn’t find one at Wal Mart I am assuming Kroger doesn’t have one, either. I am going to use a stiletto instead. I’m going to put wax paper over the meat and hammer the shit out of it with one of my leopard print heels. That’s how I roll.
I’ll keep you posted on the progress.
*slight exaggeration.
Written on March 16th, 2010
I forgot to log out today and it showed that I was online all afternoon when I wasn’t even here. Unfortunately, we had a million errands to run (yes, MORE strep throat…yay!)
Anyway, tomorrow is my day off. Matt is taking the day off work and letting me have the day to relax and do whatever I want. I plan to experiment with a new recipe, and dick around on KCL, so you people better be around to entertain me!! This is a once in a lifetime opportunity (for me, anyway) and I fully expect EVERYONE’S co-operation.
Until tomorrow, I bid you all a good evening.
If I have not read your posts today, or commented, no worries! I have all the time in the world tomorrow to get caught up!
De-lish.
Written on March 16th, 2010
Some dick in Louisville got high at work, then went home and drank almost a full fifth of Jim Beam. His wife/girlfriend/baby mama/whatever had four shots, and he drank the rest.
They have a five week old infant.
He got up to feed the baby in the middle of the night, and he remembers giving it a bottle and changing it’s diaper. He remembers nothing after that.
This goddamned idiot thought he had put the baby in it’s crib, but no, he stuffed it in the fucking oven instead. Thank GOD the oven was not on.
The baby was not injured (again, thank God) and has been taken out of the home to live with relatives. The guy was arrested for endangerment.
Now, besides the obvious fact that this guy was clearly too wasted to be tending a child, and the mother probably knew it, what I don’t understand is how the cops got involved in the first place?? Could they not find the baby, and called 911? Was he so filled with remorse he called the police himself and reported his own shitty behavior??
I just heard about this but will try to find an article and will, yes, copy and paste it. No, I won’t give a link. That is way too hard.
Written on March 15th, 2010
Y’all may remember I was invited to a sex-toy party thrown by my friend Cherry.
Here is my RSVP:
Ladies,
I regret that I will be unable to attend the festivities tomorrow evening. The reason for this is simple: the idea of burning in hell for all eternity is not appealing to me. While you all wallow in your carnal pleasures, you would do well to remember that sex is intended for procreation only. To engage in such behavior as you have planned is an affront to God and will re-open the wounds suffered by our savior Jesus Christ.
If you are determined to go forward with your wanton display of debauchery during this, the Lenten season, I will continue to pray for your eternal souls.
Regretfully Yours,
Susan
PS: If the party was not on a school night I would totally be there.
Written on March 14th, 2010
I am still annoyed by all the phone/email/paper reminders about Math Night, but the superintendent did something very cool so I will not bitch about the aggravation anymore.
Remember I told you about Laurel having her picture in the paper (again)? The photo is of her working with a classmate on a 3-D project involving pretzel sticks, marshmallows and other things.
Anyway, yesterday she received a big envelope, addressed by hand.
There was a big card that read, “Nelson County Schools Newsmaker” on the cover, and on the inside of the card it said, “Your ‘good press’ is a credit to you as well as the Nelson County School System. Best wishes from the Board of Education and Administration.”
It was signed by the superintendent, who also added a handwritten note, “Laurel, You look like you are being very helpful in this picture!”
The actual photo was included, and had been laminated.
Nice touch, I thought.
At the very bottom is a quote by Emerson, “The reward of a thing well done is to have done it.”
True, I was a little surprised that anyone in this county not only knows who Emerson was, but could come up with a suitable quote, but I didn’t dwell on that.
Now we have a laminated copy of one of her photos, that I can say I will save forever.
Written on March 12th, 2010
Where is the birthday calendar???
Someone just mentioned that they didn’t realize Luna’s birthday was tomorrow, and I was thinking, “Duh, it’s only right there on the homepage, you big dope.”
I went to check and it’s gone.
TOMORROW IS LUNA’S BIRTHDAY!
We won’t be around all day–have to take Autumn to Bowling Green for a school competition so I won’t write a post. She knows I’ll be thinking about her.
Have a nice weekend everyone.
Written on March 12th, 2010
That’s exactly what Laurel said on Wednesday. And, she is understandably not very excited about having her picture in the newspaper because this is like the tenth time.
She is seven years old, and in the second grade, and has had more press than most adults. It’s weird. Let there be a parade, and a crowd of ten thousand people, and the photographer will zoom in on her. Let her school have a play, with a cast of 75 kids, and look there! It’s Laurel, front and center on stage even though she only had one line.
The first few times she was immortalized I did what every parent does: I got tons of copies and cut out the picture/caption and sent it to all my family and friends.
This time, I got the paper two days later and stuck the picture to the fridge with little fanfare. I had to do some juggling to make room for it, and all Laurel said about it was, “Hey, where’s my spelling test?”
At least I didn’t take her test off the fridge to make room for another fucking flyer about Math Night.
Written on March 12th, 2010
We are NOT going to your stupid “Family Math Night,” so kindly STOP with the daily reminders sent home with both girls, and the phone messages left on both our home and my cell phone every morning for the last two weeks. I asked the girls weeks ago if they cared about it, and they laughed and basically said, “Yeah, right.”
I do not care if there are 14 teachers participating.
I don’t care that snacks will be provided.
No one wants to spend a Friday night doing math, you fucking morons. If more than three families attend I will eat my goddamned hat.
Now leave us alone and plan something that might actually be interesting and entertaining.
Love, EF
Written on March 11th, 2010
Since Mr. Big Shot Admin won’t let me change my list, I am making my own damned death pool. Anyone can play, but the contestants have to have been on at least two episodes of Little House on the Prairie.
I am starting with Katherine “Scottie” MacGregor (Harriett Olson) and Richard Bull (Nels Olson.)
They are 85 and 86, respectively, and still enjoying good health.
Doc Baker and Reverend Alden are dead, unfortunately.
Anyone else want to pick?
I will be far more lenient with the rules/changes than Mr. Big Shot Admin.
Written on March 11th, 2010
Not trying to be a post whore, but I just heard that Merlin Olson died.
DAMN!
Now I am thinking about the rest of the cast of Little House on the Prairie, and wondering if Nels and Doc Baker and all those people are still alive.
Yes, I realize Merlin was a football player before he scored a co-starring role on that show, but that was before my time (as well as off my radar because I have never liked football.)
RIP, Merlin.
Evilfury