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Written on July 31st, 2009
I’ve been wondering, along with the rest of you, just how in the hell I remained in the Top 10 all this time–let alone the number 1 spot. There were some days I didn’t even write an entry and was still Number 1 (until that damn Ben knocked me off my perch).
The mystery is solved.
Matt checked my stats yesterday, and there were MAYBE ten logged in readers in two hours, but about a bajillion adbots hitting my page. One after the other–every two seconds.
THAT, my friends, is why he is changing the format/algorithm/whatever it is he calls it. It’s like when SunnyLane was in the Top10 and hadn’t written a word in three months.
So, adios, elite status.
Guess I’ll be slumming it again, the way it should be. 
Written on July 29th, 2009
I’ve been thinking about KingofPain all day (if you don’t know why–go read his blog and leave him some love). He was my Santa last year, during JS’s Secret Santa. That was a great idea that was a lot of fun, but the site crashed JUST as people were starting to receive their gifts.
KoP was the BEST Santa ever. He set up a fake page called “EFsSanta” or whatever, and surprised me with videos of some of my favorite bands all the time. I had no idea HE was my Santa–I thought for sure it was Luna. When my gift arrived, it was a beautifully wrapped package from an exclusive childrens’ boutique, and inside, two precious baby gowns for our son. How cool is that??
I packed one of the gowns to take to the hospital, and Brad was wearing it in his first official portrait, taken when he was about twelve hours old.
So anyway–the SecretSanta thing. Everyone want to do it this year??? Obviously we have plenty of time to plan, but I will volunteer to organize it unless someone else is dying to do it. I know who I want to be my recipient already, too.
Lots of prayers for KoP today, y’all. His family is gonna need em. In fact, they are probably on their way to the doctor right now.
Phil, best wishes, my man.
Written on July 29th, 2009
All you people who stand outside in the rain, snow, sleet, sun, and baking temps just so you can maybe be on television for three seconds are sad enough, but the ones who hold up signs saying “I love so-and-so” or “Imadouchebag.org” really need to put as much thought into your SIGN as you do where to stand so that the camera gets you.
Friendly piece of advice: yellow magic marker does NOT show up well on blue posterboard.
Just sayin.
Love, EF
Written on July 28th, 2009
Rather than ask you to read through all the comments on my previous blog, I will begin anew, and ask, nay*, BEG you to elaborate on the horses heads your friend kept as a…what? Memento?
The following questions have been asked, and by God, deserve answers:
1) how did they cut the heads off?
2) WHY didn’t they bury the whole horse?
3) Are the heads preserved in any way?
4) Are they mounted, or just sitting there on the floor?
There are other questions, but these are the most pressing.
We need answers, woman!!!
*Get it? “Nay”? Because we’re talking horses?? HAHAHAHA!
I kill me.
Written on July 28th, 2009
The lovely Fake Brunette has a great post about paper dolls, and I commented that my ex grandmother in law still plays with them, but she is very weird.
I also said that this same woman has bags and bags of her dead mother’s hair: sealed and labeled with things like, “Mama’s hair, two weeks before she died” and “Mama’s hair, the day she died” and “Mama’s hair, the day of her funeral”.
Now, I ask you, do you have anything that can top THAT shit? Any relative (or yourself) who does something so fucked up as to SAVE bags of dead person hair in Ziploc sandwich bags???
And, have any of you ever heard of such a thing?? Is this like an old tradition or something, like saving the clippings from a babies first hair cut??
Discuss.
Written on July 27th, 2009
1) I cannot wait for Steve’s update on the peppers and onions. I’ve been looking forward to it all weekend, which yes, is sad as shit, but if they are gone I will be depressed.
2) BenB reminded me that I promised Matt BLT’s or Club Sandwiches for dinner. Thanks, Ben! I make a mean Club myself. That sounds awesome.
3) I hope Luna is having a great time.
4) I’m ready for school to begin next week. I am a pretty structured person, and I enjoy having a routine and schedule. All this crazy summer free time is getting on my nerves. I am anxious for a set bedtime for the girls, as well as a firm wake up time for ME, instead of just getting up when the baby does.
5) I hope everyone is voting for BenB’s dog. You can just TELL he’s a good one, and I hope he wins.
6) Let’s have some laughs this week, peeps! Last week’s sour cream/Tombstone discussion will be hard to top, but let’s do it. Rather, let’s have some laughs IF the peppers/onions are still there, because if they are not, I really will be too heartbroken to play much.
Written on July 25th, 2009
No, not me, praise Jesus, but my friend and fellow Fury Marci (GentleFury) just had her third little girl…Emelie June.
Marci laughed and laughed, and laughed some more when I told her I was pregnant with Brad. Said she couldn’t imagine anything worse than being pregnant again.
Four months later, she called me, overjoyed because she was pregnant again.
This baby is a blessing, as all babies are. Marci and her husband are great parents, and I love her kids like my own. They have Hannah, who is Autumn’s age, and Addison, who is 4.
This birth was also bittersweet, because Marci WAS pregnant with twins. One, a boy, was not viable, and would have endangered the little girl. They made the excruciating decision to…how do I put it? Terminate? Abort? In any case, she shed many a tear and her poor heart was broken, but it was the right thing to do at the time.
So, welcome, little Emmy!!! Aunt Susan already loves you, sweetheart.
**Ladies only–Marci had 27 and a half stitches. OWWWW! I never had a stitch, but really think I could have used one or two after having Brad. I am still not healed up correctly, and fear that things will never be back to normal. But 27??? Oh, that poor girl. **
Written on July 25th, 2009
Why the hell was my blog number 1 yesterday?? Seriously?? I think Matt did something to the scoring system so that “guests” no longer count, and that should have been the end of any Top 10 appearances by me.
I can understand being ranked up there if my post has a shitload of comments, and a lot of them do, but yesterday?
For those of you who are calling “bullshit”, I agree.
Anyway, hope you are all having a good weekend so far. Our Luna is off to Glaswegia in a few hours–here’s hoping she has a wonderful trip and a safe return.
While I’m thinking about it, my Minnesota friends: what the fuck is up with “ludafisk” or whatever the hell it is?? I was watching “Man vs. Food” and that crazy Andrew Zimmern made him eat that stuff.
Dried cod soaked in lye?? Are you kidding me??
I demand an explanation, or a justification!!!
He said it had the texture of “frozen Vaseline.” DISGUSTING. But, I am open to hearing WHY you eat it, and whether or not you like it, and even your complaints that I surely misspelled the name of this atrocity.
Written on July 24th, 2009
Everyone is always going on about how great the Admin is–how willing to help, blahblahblah.
I sent him a message (like anyone else) and asked him NICELY to change my avatar, now that Sammi is back and settled in.
His response?
“Sure, but it’s gonna cost you.”
WTF, man??
Do any of YOU get such replies???
And no, Steve, that one time doesn’t count. He was drunk and curious.
Written on July 24th, 2009
That’s right, fuckers, Luna told me I am in charge of Quote of the Day in her absence.
I am positive that two things will NOT happen:
1) I will not win
2) Matt will not win
Other than that, everyone has equal potential.
Let’s get the ball rolling, peeps! It’s gonna be a long day and I could use a laugh.
Evilfury