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Written on July 9th, 2009
Sorry, Luna, but I cannot let this abomination of new motherhood go on.
I need answers.
If everyone agrees that you are indeed a natural beauty, even this shortly post-partum, I will make more of an effort to not look like a complete skank every second of every day.
Written on July 9th, 2009
I’ve already told y’all how much I miss having a gay “girlfriend”, and I don’t think I have ever missed my fab-u-lous Miss Barry more than today.
We were in the car, and the girls wanted to listen the radio. I hate pop music, but agreed, because Dave Ramsey wasn’t on yet, and all the cd’s I have in the car skip.
So the song, “I Will Survive” came on, and I could actually SMELL Miss Barry. That was his, and every other gay man’s, theme song. Why? Beats the fuck out of me, but they all love it as much as they love Cher and Bette Midler.
Every Monday night I would go to Miss Barry’s crib and we would watch Melrose Place and drink white wine. We would talk about how trashy Sydney was, and how sexy Billy was.
After Melrose Place, he would start getting ready to go out. All the gay people met at a certain restaurant on Monday, and he always put a lot of effort into looking “pretty”.
He’d exfoliate, moisturize, and tone. He’d shave his scrawny, pasty white chest and apply a lightly glittered lotion.
He’d fret over his outfit, and change ten times before he was satisfied that he looked suitably fabulous and was certain to meet a great guy, thus leaving his lonely days behind.
He had a mix tape of “getting pretty” songs, and it started with Melissa Etheridge and climaxed with “I Will Survive”. Usually, by the time that song came on he was finished primping and ready to float out the front door, leaving a trail of glitter behind him.
He would go his way, and I would go mine.
Alas, I would see him at work the next morning, and he would be depressed. Hungover, lonelier than ever before, and humiliated because the guy he has a crush on went out with that whore Ronnie who wore socks with sandals.
I hope Miss Barry eventually found love, or at least a suitable partner. In all the time I knew him (several years) I NEVER knew him to actually go out with anyone.
Poor Miss Barry.
**shakes head**
I miss that guy.
Evilfury