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Written on September 29th, 2009
Steve can keep his stupid Jon Gosselin. I stand by my candidates:
1) Mohammed Ali
2) Morgan Freeman
3) Gary Coleman
4) Lindsey Lohan
5) Casey Anthony’s dad (suicide)
So how does this work, though?? Are there extra points given when the person is either obscure or in seemingly good health? Someone for real needs to organize this thing so we can do it right. I would offer, but I don’t know how. Plus, I am doing the SecretSanta because Mando refuses to join us here (much to my dismay.)
Written on September 28th, 2009
Y’all may have heard the story about Max Gilpin–a high school football player in Louisville who died last year after suffering a heat stroke during practice. His coach was just acquitted and will not serve any jail time.
The coach was charged with manslaughter II, I believe, because he withheld water and forced the boys to run in extreme heat.
Okay, well, yeah. That is what athletes DO, ya dig? Football players train in the…say it with me…SUMMER, because they PLAY in the….what? Good! FALL!
Summer is HOT.
Short of practicing at two in the morning, the heat cannot be avoided. Coaches and players alike would do well to learn from this tragedy, and take many water breaks so that maybe it can be avoided in the future.
Problem solved. Right?
WRONG.
I heard on the news this morning that scientists have perfected a sensor that you wear on your skin that lets you know when you are hot.
Go ahead, read that sentence again–it will still sound every bit as stupid as it did the first time you read it. I’ll wait.
The idea is that athletes, road construction crews, roofers, etc. can wear these sensors and lessen the chances of heatstroke or heat related death, because their sensors will alert them to the fact that they are hot, and perhaps need a drink of water.
Now, I can see over competitive football players not wanting to look like a pussy and quit running laps long enough to get a drink. It’s stupid, sure, but that is sort of how they roll. But, I cannot see a professional roofer requiring a goddamned sensor strapped to his chest to tell him when it is too hot, and to get off the roof for a while and rehydrate.
Have we seriously become THAT stupid, that we have to be TOLD when we are overheated?? Do we really need scientists to invent a gadget that will alert us to something that should be fairly easy to figure out for ourselves?? What’s next? A monitor that tells us to blink???
Written on September 27th, 2009
The following is a list of things that I hate, but most people love:
1) apple and pumpkin pie
2) sweet potatoes
3) cheese grits, or any grits
4) weird pizza, like barbeque pizza or Mexican pizza
5) Top 40 radio
6) culture (ie: poetry, opera, and the theater)
7) The show Family Guy
The new season of Grey’s Anatomy–totally unwatchable
9) tampons
10) tight shirts, especially long sleeved
11) peanut butter stuff
12) sweet scented candles, like vanilla or hazelnut
Now, things I love that most people would find strange:
1) digging in my ears with Q-tips
2) picking scabs
3) mashed potatoes mixed with peas and corn
4) the smell of Swiffer Wet Jet cleaner
5) Aussie hair products, even though I don’t like grape scented stuff (I am not trying to get the ads, I’m just sayin, is all)
6) sanitary pads withOUT wings. Those get on my nerves.
7) Competitive cooking shows, like Top Chef or Food Network Challenge
Little House on the Prairie (books or shows)
9) The Golden Girls
Please, share yours. 
Written on September 27th, 2009
Like SamanthaBaker before you, you get a weekend birthday. While it means not as much action on KCL, at least your birthday is drawn out over the whole weekend.
I love that you have been making appearances here lately. I’ve missed you. I miss your lists of good/bad, and your toe pictures.
Please, come by more often. That pretty smile always makes my day.
Happy Birthday, my friend. Hope this is the best year you ever had.
Written on September 26th, 2009
Brad was up and fussy all night, but Matt got up with him this morning and let me sleep in until…wait for it…9:30!!!!! Can you imagine?? 9:30!!!!
Since then I have been watching a Top Chef marathon because I am two episodes behind.
Brad is taking a nap (praise Jesus) and Matt went to go grab us some lunch. I’m starving because I haven’t really been able to eat all week, what with the gaping hole in the back of my mouth.
When Top Chef is over, we will FINALLY watch the House premier. I’ve been avoiding all blogs that have even casually mentioned House, for fear I will not be able to restrain myself and would read something I shouldn’t read.
U of L plays tonight, and we’ll see if they can finally beat one of their most daunting rivals–St. Mary’s School of the Blind. I doubt it, but we’ll see.
Have a good one everyone.
Written on September 25th, 2009
I took Brad to the store to grab some grapefruit juice, and meant only to run in and out.
When we had the juice I noticed a little girl, maybe three years old, kinda crouched down in one of the aisles.
I didn’t want to freak her out, so we just browsed around for a minute and I kept my eye on her, hoping to see her parent nearby.
After about three minutes passed, I walked close to where she was crouching, but not TOO close, ya dig? She was whimpering and had a runny nose.
I finally said, “What’s wrong, Honey? Are you lost?”
She practically moaned and nodded her head.
I asked her where she had last seen her mom.
She pointed in the general area of the store.
Shit. What to do? Do I stay here with the kid and flag down a store employee to page the mom? Or do I take her to customer service, or what? I didn’t know how long she had been there before I saw her, but it had been a good ten minutes since I had and there was no sign of a parent.
I asked her if she wanted to come with me, and we would go find her mom. She nodded. I reached down to take her hand and she grabbed me. Just grabbed me around the legs and held tight, bless her little heart.
So, she was not going to scream that I was kidnapping her. That was a good thing. I scooped her up and put her in the back of the cart.
We went to Customer Service and I had the employees there page the mom. They said, “If you are missing a little girl with blond hair, wearing a pink shirt, please come to customer service immediately.”
Problem solved, right?
Wrong.
The little girl would not go to the worker. She wanted to stay with ME. No biggie, I would hang out with her for a few, and besides, she was already scared enough without dumping her off on yet another stranger.
So, we waited.
And waited.
Ten minutes passed, and I asked them to page again. By this time, Brad was starting to fuss, and the little girl was getting anxious. I erred on the side of the scared baby, and picked her up and held her.
They paged again, and still nothing.
It began to dawn on me that maybe this little girl was NOT lost. Maybe this little girl had been LEFT. I thought, “Five more minutes. We’ll give them five more minutes and we are calling the cops. I might have to call Matt and tell him I am bringing home a new kid.”
One thinks crazy thoughts when one is somewhat responsible for a kid that may or may not have been abandoned, you see.
Just as I was about to suggest we call the cops, an announcement came over the intercom that said, “Whoever has the missing girl, please bring her to the paint department. Her mother and grandmother are there.”
What. The. Fuck???? I mean, for real, what the hell, man? They are there, and not rushing through the strore to get to their scared little girl???? THIS I had to see.
I told the worker I would take her to them.
I set her back down in the cart and off we went. I said, “When we see your mommy, let me know, okay?” and she nodded.
We got to the paint department, and sure as hell, there stood a couple of women sorting through various cans of paint and brushes. The little girl pointed.
I said, “Excuse me, is this your daughter?”
One of the women turned around and goes, “Oh, YEAH! Kelsey, where have you been?” and then TURNED BACK TO HER PAINT!
Here I am, still holding her daughter, the very one who was alone and crying twenty five minutes before, and this bitch did not even notice she was gone, nor was terribly happy to have her returned.
Naturally, I had plenty I wanted to say (you can imagine) but the little girl was scrambling to get down and once I set her on the ground she hustled over to Mommy.
For Mom’s benefit more than Kelsey’s, I said, loudly, “Sweetheart, please make sure you stick close to your mom. Mommy’s worry when we can’t find our babies and it is very scary for everyone, so stay close so you aren’t scared again, okay?”
She nodded. Mom ignored me completely.
I was pissed at this point, and said, “Sorry to bother you, because I can see you are very into your brush selection, but do you realize I not only FOUND your kid but stayed with her until you got around to letting the staff know where we could deliver her? You couldn’t be bothered with even going to where she WAS?”
The lady looked at me for a minute and goes, “I told her not to run off. That’s what she gets.”
And with that, the matter was settled.
I just shook my head in disgust and took our baby, safe and sound, home.
Written on September 24th, 2009
The lovely Fake Brunette sent me one of her world famous bracelets. It is beautiful, with my favorite kind of shiny blue stones. I absolutely love it and will cherish it always, because my friend MADE it and was kind enough to give it to me.
Thanks so much, FB. The timing was perfect. As you all know, it has been a shitty past few days, but this cheered me up. I love it, and I love you.
And, we have a new member: the one and only Breakfast. He is a fantastic writer and I have missed reading his stuff. He is here, and hopefully will honor us with a post soon. Welcome to the nuthouse, Breakfast.
Finally, I have never written or implied anywhere that ANYONE was a pedophile or dabbling in child porn. Ever. I am hurt that someone thinks that I did, and claims to have been suffering for YEARS over this, but I am also hurt for him that he went through that. I was one of the first to defend Simon when a few people (Xanadu, again) decided he was a pedophile and wouldn’t shut the fuck up about it. Suggesting such a thing is horrible. By my own admission, I did some pretty shitty stuff on JS but never anything even close to that. No, my actions were more of a quick tempered kinda thing, where someone would annoy me and I would go off half cocked. That has not happened here. I have lost my temper, yes, but only after a long period of provocation
It was said that my old reputation has come back to bite me, and while that may be true, it isn’t really fair. I will have to deal with that, but I will be damned if I apologize for something I didn’t do, and had no knowledge of until this morning.
I’m done being hurt, and ready to get back to having fun. Those who would encourage me to dwell on this stupid shit can keep their opinions to themselves. I am not continuing this crap. Knock yourself out, if you want to keep discussing it either here or on other blogs, but leave me the hell out of it.
Written on September 23rd, 2009
My darling Puppyshark reposted an entry describing the time she had her mother committed to a mental hospital. It is for sure one of my all time favorite stories. I have read it a hundred times and laugh out loud every single time.
I was thinking of other posts, by other people, that I still remember and think about, and laugh about.
In no particular order:
1) Zoso’s “To the Driver of the Blue Minivan Who Parks Like a Douche.”
2) Cactus Flower (Lunamor) writing about her sons–no specific entry, but that was around the time I got to know her and grew to love her.
3) Steve, and his rules of Halloween, and how trick or treaters are either punished or rewarded based on costume.
Do y’all have any faves that you still remember??
Written on September 23rd, 2009
Pastor Larry asked me to remove my earlier post. I did.
I sincerely hope this day brings a little less bullshit and a little more fun.
How can we NOT have fun, with Steve’s sour cream amouldering in his fridge??
We need updates, Steve.
Written on September 21st, 2009
No? Well, it means SOMETHING. I’m just not sure WHAT, or even how to pronounce it. But, I have been intrigued and trying to figure it out for years.
Happy Birthday to the lovely sunflower herself: Picaboblu!
Have a wonderful day, my friend, and I hope this is the best year of your life so far.
Evilfury